Wednesday, August 14, 2013

...And The One Armed Juggler Broke His Arm.

I was home in Michigan this week, and decided  I would spend the day with my mom.  Now, spending a day with my mother is always a bit of an adventure, but today was extra special.

My mother is a talent agent. Now, before you get all excited and want to send her your headshots, you should know she's a talent agent for "Free On Grounds Entertainment."  What is free on grounds entertainment you ask? Well, it's the puppet show, or the juggler, or the ventriloquist, or some other kind of variety show act that performs at your local fair.  The acts are paid to be there, but the fair attendee doesn't have to buy a ticket to see them.  Like most agents, my mother lives with a bluetooth surgically implanted in her ear, and the phone is always ringing.

We started the day meeting with Attorney B  about my grandparents estate, which is kind of a mess right now for a lot of reasons, but the meeting went as well as could be expected.  We were having lunch at this little dive bar restaurant that I love in my hometown, and out of the blue Mom got an email from a partner at the law offce, one that was she was clearly supposed to see.  The partner, believing he was only writing to  attorney B made some pretty derogatory comments about everyone involved in the case, including my mother.  Undaunted, my mother fired off an email to her attorney that basically called the partner out.  The partner ten responded with a rather slightly apologetic and carefully worded email about he was just frustrated and they need to work together. Needless to say, it appears that in order to be a partner at a law firm, one does not, in fact, need to know how to use (or perhaps how NOT to use) the "Reply All" button in an email program. In classic Barber fashion, mom has never allowed the guy to live it down.

Next, as we shopped for groceries, a phone call from one of her fair clients came in to discuss an entertainer's behavior at a recent show. Problems included the entertainers wife yelling profanity at the fair manager.  Mom apologized and then called the entertainer's manager (who was also his wife) to discuss the situation, only to discover that his real "wife" wasn't at the fair at all.   Mom ended up telling woman that it looked like her husband was cheating on her.  It went as well as could be expected, and the other customers in the checkout lane with us had a good laugh too.

And in the final act of the day, a juggler my mother booked in another show called to tell her that, after a day of work, he couldn't finish the contract because he broke his scapula and couldn't perform.  When I asked if he could do the show with one arm and a partner, which is not unheard of in the industry, my mother looked at me incredulously and said, "Tracy, he only has one good arm, and that's the one that broke.  He's a one armed juggler."