You Wouldn't Jump off a Bridge

I want to preface this with the statement that I love my friends, and I choose carefully whom I bring into my circle, even my social media circle.

I value intelligence, creativity and education certainly, but I also put a great deal of stock in the ability to question that which is put before you as a fact. I grew up in a household that embraced and encouraged independent thought.  When I would come home from school and summarily beg to do or buy whatever thing some girl at school had, the conversation went something like this.

“Well if Suzy jumped off the Mackinac Bridge, would you do it?”

The obvious answer was no, I would not jump off the bridge.

 

“Well then let’s not worry about what Suzy is doing then.”

It was a frustrating argument (yet I like to believe I made some pretty compelling arguments in favor of bridge jumping) because it was putting independent thought and action ahead of that ‘going with the crowd’ mentality that permeates school from oh, kindergarten to grade 12. 

When I graduated from High School, I had developed enough freedom of personality to realize that some people are followers, and some are leaders. I endeavored to be a leader, and erroneously believed that the vast majority of the people I would encounter after high school would feel the same way. The age of ‘following the leader,’ I thought had ended.  I couldn’t have possibly realized at eighteen years old how incredibly wrong I could be.

When a person dies, they lose all rights to privacy because, well, they’re dead.  Medical records, documents, that embarrassing middle name, that first questionable marriage, and just about everything that was once considered personal information becomes public domain. 

The unfortunate part of this is that, apparently, the dead’s thoughts and ideas also become public property, and can be altered to fit whatever agenda might need a spokesperson.  That combined with that modern blight on society-- the Facebook Meme--total falsehoods can now be spread like a cancer in less time than it takes to point, click, and share. 

What is it about our society that no matter how ludicrous the statement, if it’s attached to an important name many will believe it without question? Furthermore, what about our modern social media mentality allows some to believe that if an outlandish statement is attributed to a revered Founding Father or other historical figure, those of us with opposing viewpoints are suddenly going to change course without question.

“Well I thought that the concept of not paying any taxes was oversimplified and illogical, but hey Lincoln said that the Tea Party is the smartest thing to come along since Warren G. Harding, so I guess I’ll just change my entire socio/political viewpoint, like now.”

I’m also somewhat puzzled that in this age of instant information, anyone wouldn’t take five seconds and attempt to establish validity.

“Hmmm, this quote attributed to Thomas Jefferson seems to speak directly to this exact cause--A cause that would not have been an issue during his lifetime. Maybe I should make sure this Jefferson quote about Goodyear Tires is accurate before I smear it all over my social media and my friends pick it up and smear it around too.”

I realize the desire to give a beloved social or political cause real validity is a strong one.  As anyone who knows me will tell you, I have strong opinions about, well everything, and champion some pretty outlandish ideas, like that as a woman I should have equal pay and freedom to made decisions about my own body. 

I do find it reassuring when Thomas Jefferson said something that reinforces a belief  I hold dear, and I’m disappointed when I find a famous individual that I admire said something that disagrees with me.  (I have not, as yet, found a quote in which Thomas Jefferson discussed the reproductive freedoms of women, but I secretly think he would have been on my side.)

However, I would never attempt to spread an untrue “Jefferson/ women’s rights quote” as the truth in order to lend credence to my cause because it cheapens the cause in the same breath that it cheapens the memory old Tom.  And also, some of my friends are WAY smarter than I am, and would know that Jefferson never said anything on the subject.  When they realize that, it invalidates everything else I’ve ever said on the subject because clearly I just make things up.  Suddenly my beloved cause is suffering because I jumped the shark in terms of “quotable support” for Women’s Reproductive Rights.

So in short, my advice to everyone: 
Fact check, and don’t jump off the bridge just because Lincoln said it was a good idea.

Thatched Roofs and Imminent Death

My mother had never been to Europe, and so for her birthday/Christmas/Mother's Day, I decided we should go.

We planned two weeks, one in England and one in France.

We decided to drive instead of depending on public transportation, so we could see more. We knew that in the UK they drive on the other side of the car and the road, but in true Barber Women fashion, we thought, "How bad can it be?"

We arrived in the morning and picked up our rental car at Heathrow on a Sunday morning.  The plan was to drive to Salisbury for our first night at a bed and breakfast/tavern, and take in Stonehenge if we weren't too tired.

We loaded our luggage and climbed into the car. Mom decided to drive, which wasn't surprising since she drives everywhere all the time anyway and is also better versed in manual transmissions. And by better versed I mean that she's actually driven them. Within in seconds of pulling out of the lot, she hit a curb. It went downhill from there.

When we were on the highway, it was fine, but the UK LOVES traffic circles.

Traffic Circles in the UK rotate counter clockwise and despite having multiple travel lanes, they actually have no lines marking where said lanes are located.

The overall result of our drive out of London consisted of moments on the highways where we felt reasonably safe,  two lanes roads where we felt like fish out of water but reasonably okay, and then traffic circles, which we dreaded as they approached, and where we simply prayed to survive until we were on the two lane road again.

Then we discovered another kind of road in the UK. The one lane road with no shoulder.  These were the ones I, as the passenger, feared the most.  You know, those lovely English hedges are a lot less romantically lovely when you're barreling toward them at  30 MPH sitting on the side of the car THAT YOU ARE SURE SHOULD HAVE A STEERING WHEEL.

The strained, fear filled silence of the sedan's interior was occasionally pierced by one of two sounds. Either the beat my foot hitting the part of the floor that should have had a brake pedal, or my mothers right hand knuckles striking the window of the car as she reached for the gear shift with the wrong hand. In retrospect, one of us should have turned on the radio, but neither of us felt we had a free hand available for such a frivolous exercise.

Oh and did I mention it was raining?

Needless to say, when we spotted Stonehenge in the distance, we both agreed that would be a great place to stop, and upon pulling into the parking lot, we marveled at our own ability to survive such adverse conditions.  We dragged our feet getting back into the car.

We found our tiny tavern B&B in an even tinier town full of structures bearing construction dates from the mid 1600s. Even I had to duck into a few of the ancient doorways of the tavern, as the tall, blustery English tavern keeper led us to our second floor room.

The warmth of the room combined with the fading light and pouring rain put us to sleep.

We woke up to sunshine and an English breakfast served in the tavern downstairs.  Closer inspection of the town's buildings revealed that they were all thatched roofs. Our host was energetic and talkative, explaining the benefits and issues of associated with thatched roofs and the history of the town. We were also treated to a first hand account of exactly what the average UK citizen thought of everything from the Royal Family to national healthcare to illegal immigration.  In the end he invited us back anytime and even waved as we drove away.

We hoped that he wouldn't watch us drive off, lest mom take out a parked car.