Monday, June 17, 2013

Dear Wisconsin....

Today, I met a person from Wisconsin. When I asked where in Wisconsin they were from, they used their hand as a map to point out a location.

Me: (Confused) I thought you were from Wisconsin?

Them:  I am, from here. (Points to spot on hand).

Me: That's Michigan.

Them:  It's Wisconsin too.

Me:  [Stunned silence]

Baffled, I told the story to my dad, who said that lately Wisconsonians (Wisconsinites?) have starting using the "hand map" trick to describe their state too.

Wisconsin looks like this:

Now, you Wisconsinolas (Wisconsineers?)--- I can see where, if you squint really hard and blur your vision, or get up after a night of hard drinking, that you can maybe see a mitten in there.


Or maybe it's Quasimodos mitten.

In fact, I would go so far as to say that one could get away with calling it a mitten, IF Wisconsin wasn't immediately adjacent to a state that LOOKS JUST LIKE A MITTEN without the need of squinting or alcohol to blur your vision in order to convince yourself.

However, Michigan looks like this:

Now, the Upper Peninsula is all weird shaped, but that's okay because all the people up there are kinda weird too so it fits, but the Lower Peninsula is pretty obviously shaped like a mitten, without the need of alcohol, or squinting.

So I think that you should probably leave the hand map thing to Michiganders (Michigonians?) otherwise you risk looking like Michigan wannabes.

Still, I don't want to take everything away from you so I made the image of Wisconsin yellow, because you're known for cheese.

You're welcome.

The Trolls Under the Bridge Who Live in the Mitten.

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